Good Day and
welcome to a brand new edition of :
'ASYLUM'
Today's program
features another chance to take part in our
exciting competition:
Hop
on a boat
And
win
A FREE
HOUSE!
We've
already given away hundreds of millions of
dollars
and thousands
of dream homes, courtesy of our
sponsor,
The Australian
Taxpayer.
And don't
forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the
planet.
Anyone can
play, provided they don't already hold a valid Australian
Passport,
and you only need one word of
English:
'ASYLUM'
Prizes include
all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting
at $800
a week and a
chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and accosting drivers
at traffic
lights.
This
competition is open to everyone
buy a ticket
to
Indonesia
And catch the
first available boat.
No application
ever refused - reasonable or
unreasonable.
All you have to
do is destroy all your
papers or burn your boat
once you
enter Australian
waters and remember
the magic password:
'ASYLUM'
A few years
ago, 140 members of the Taliban family from
Afghanistan were
flown Goat Class from
Kabul to
Indonesia’s
gateway where
agents
were on hand to
fast-track them
to
their boat trips
to
luxury accommodation.
They joined
tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying
in hotels all
over Australia
.
Our most
popular destinations also include the Baxter’s
Reef and
the world famous
Christmas
Island
Resort.
If you still
don't understand the rules, don't forget, there's no need
to phone a friend
or to ask the
audience
Just apply for
legal aid.
Hundreds
of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are
waiting to help.
It won't
cost you a
penny
and it could
change your life forever .
So play
today.
Iraqi
terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet
activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovo drug-smugglers, Tamil
tigers,
bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali
guerrillas...
COME ON
DOWN!
Get along
to the Indonesia fishing
ports
Don't stop in
Thailand or
Bali
Go straight to
Australia
And you
are:
GUARANTEED
to
be one of tens of thousands
of
lucky winners in the
easiest
game on earth.
Everyone's a
winner, when they play
'ASYLUM'