Why does the French flag have Velcro?
So the red and blue sections can be removed in times of war.
Did you know the toothbrush was invented by the French?
If it had been invented by anyone else, it would have been called the Teethbrush.
Q: When was the last good French barbecue?
A: 1431, and it involved Joan of Arc.
Q: Why don't the French Barbeque?
A: The snails keep slipping between the grills.
Q: How do you get a French waiter's attention?
A: Start ordering in German.
Q: What's the difference between France and Quebec?
A: Quebec has prettier women and colder beer.
Q: Why do the French like smelly cheeses?
A: Well, in a room full of French people, you can't really smell the cheese.
"A Frenchmen's home is where another man's wife is." - Mark Twain - 1878-79 Journal
"There is nothing lower than the human race... except for the French." - Mark Twain 1878-79
"French history: They turn on their friends and surrender to their enemies!"
I have a tip for you, if you install the French versions of your favourite programs, THEY RUN A LOT FASTER!
The makers of French's Mustard made the following recent statement: "We at the French's Company wish to put an end to statements that our product is manufactured in France.
There is no relationship, nor has there ever been a relationship, between our mustard and the country of France. Indeed, our mustard is manufactured in Rochester, NY. The only
thing we have in common is that we are both yellow".
Why wouldn't the Statue of Liberty work in France? Because she has only one arm raised.
Q. How do you stop a French tank?
A. Say "boo".
How do you separate the men from the boys in France? With a crowbar.
Hey! Do you know what the difference between a Frenchman and a chimpanzee is? - One of them is hairy, stinky, and scratches his arse all the time. The other is a chimpanzee.
Why do the French get more votes in the U.N.? They vote with both hands.
Q. What is the difference between a Frenchwoman and a basketball team?
A. The basketball team showers after 4 periods.
The Surgeon General got a new law passed: all cigarette boxes must have a picture of a French guy on it.
Q. How many jokes are there about the French?
A. One; the rest are true stories.
What is the French peoples favourite movie? The Running Man.
During WW2, the French resistance fighters, in their finest hour, bravely threw sticks of dynamite at the advancing German troops. The Germans then lit them and threw them back.
Q. What is the first thing the French teach their kids in school?
A. How to say "We Surrender" in German!
Q. Why don't cheeseburgers sell well in France?
A. Because they don't smell like crap.
When is it white laundry day in France? Never. Any white laundry in France is already hung up on a stick being waved!
Q. How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. One, because he holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.
Q. How do you confuse a French Soldier?
A. Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it.
Q. Why don't Master Card and Visa work well in France?
A. They do not know how to say "CHARGE!"
Q. What do women who are snipers in the French military use as camouflage?
A. Their armpits.
Q. What's the difference between a Frenchmen and a bucket of shit?
A. The bucket.
What do you call a French man killed defending his country? ... I don't know either, it's never happened!
Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous Frenchmen? People were confused about which side to spit on.
"I just love the French. They taste like chicken!"
Q. Why do French people always wear yellow?
A. To match the colour of their blood!
Why do the French never perform the Mexican wave at a soccer game? Because that's a gesture reserved for use only in time of war.
Q. What does a French military alliance and a French romance have in common?
A. Both are brief, sordid, and completely meaningless.
Q. What's the difference between a Frenchman and a catfish?
A. One is an ugly, scum-sucking bottom-feeder, and the other is a fish.
Q. What's the difference between a Frenchman and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline.
The French have only one actual fighting war hero, Joan of Arc - and they turned her over to the enemy!
Question: What English word has no equivalent in the French language?
Answer: Gratitude.
Why does the French Navy suck? Because cardboard doesn't float!
Q. Since everyone knows that French men are gay, how come there are French children?
A. Because of the confusion caused by the fact that French women have moustaches!!
Q. Do you know why so many Europeans immigrated to North America?
A. To get as far away from the French as possible.
What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad? A salesman.
What's the shortest book ever written? French War Heroes.
As read this on the back of a public restroom door. "Here I sit with my buns a'clenchin, giving birth to another Frenchman."
Q. What is the first thing the French Army teaches at basic training?
A. How to surrender in at least 10 languages.
Q. What is the most useful thing in the French Army?
A. A rearview mirror, so they can see the war.
Why does Nike like the French Army?
Because in wartime, they are the biggest buyers of running shoes.
Why did the French celebrate their World Cup Championship in 2000 so wildly? It was their first time they won anything without the help of the U.S.
What's the difference between 1943 and 2003? This time around, the Vichy government is telling the German puppets what to do.
Q. Why do the French Smell?
A. So blind people can hate them too!
Q. Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*?
A. Because it doesn't really exist.
Q. Why don't the French eat M&Ms?
A. They're too hard to peel.
Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting without an accordian.
How did the French react to German reunification? They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers.
A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French expression"? His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I give up!"
Why is it good to be French? You can surender at the begining of the war, and the US will win it for you.
Q. How many Frenchmen died in World War II?
A. Not enough.
The French; they are a funny race, they fight with their feet, and fuck with their face!
Why do we need France on our side against Saddam and Osama? So the French can show them how to surrender.
What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead Frenchman In the middle of the road? There's skid marks in front of the skunk.
Q. How many Frenchman does it take to guard Paris?
A. Nobody knows, it's never been tried before.
What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? The Army.
Q. How do you castrate a Frenchmen???
A. Kick his sister in the jaw.
Q. Why do Frenchmen always wear yellow ties?
A. To match the teeth
Q. What's the best place to hide your money?
A. Under the soap of a Frenchman
Q. How can you tell if a Frenchman has been in your backyard?
A. Your garbage is gone, and your dog is pregnant!
Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney? Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.
Q. What do you do if you see 90,000 dead Frenchmen?
A. Stop laughing and re-load!!
Q. What do you call 20 dead Frenchmen in the back of a lorry.
A. A good day's hunting.
Q. What do you do if you drive over a Frenchman?
A. REVERSE!
Did you hear about the Frenchman who lost his licence to practice medicine? He was caught having sex with some of his patients. It's a shame, he was by far the best vet in town.
What do you get if you see a Frenchman up to his neck in sand? Get more sand.
Q. Why do French men have moustaches?
A. To remind them of their mothers.
It's best to learn French so you can make fun of them before you kill them.
Why wasn't Jesus born in France? Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.
Q. How do you brainwash a Frenchman?
A. Fill up his boots with water
Q. Is it rude to call a Frenchman a frog?
A. Yes, it is unfair to amphibians.
Q. Why do the French cook with lots of garlic?
A. To improve their breath.
Q. Wy don't the French want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
A. He hates America, he loves mistresses and he wears a beret. He is French.
Q. How do you kill a Frenchman?
A. Slam the toilet seat down when he's getting a drink.
The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.
Q. Why do the French use a lot of bleach on their sheets?
A. So you can see their white flags better.
The French are to warfare what the British are to cooking.
You really do have to hand it to the French... After all, they won't fight for it.
Q. What happens when a Frenchman doesn't pay his garbage bill?
A. They stop delivering.
Q. How do you ruin a French party?
A. Flush the punch bowl.
Q. Why did the Frenchman sell his water skis?
A. He couldn't find a lake with a hill in it.
Q. How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. All of them: One to screw the bulb in, the rest to brag about how great the French are at screwing.
Q. How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. It doesn't matter; if you're depending on the French to do the job, it's screwed anyway.
Q. What do you do if a Frenchman throws a hand-grenade at you?
A. Take the pin out and throw it back.
Q. What do you do if a Frenchman throws a pin at you?
A. Run like hell - he's still got a hand-grenade between his teeth.
Q. Did you hear about the French helicopter crash?
A. The pilot got cold, so he turned off the fan.
Q. How do you break a Frenchman's finger?
A. Hit him on the nose.
Q. How do you get a Frenchman out of a bath tub?
A. Throw in a bar of soap.
Q. How do you keep a Frenchman in suspense?
Q. What does it say on the bottom of a Perrier bottle in France?
A. Open other end.
Q. Did you hear about the French hockey team?
A. They all drowned in spring training.
Q. Did you hear about the new automatic French parachutes?
A. They open on impact.
Q. Did you hear about the French submarine with a screen door?
A. Don't laugh... it keeps the fish out.
Q. What did France used to be called?
A. Germany, and then we saved them.
Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. "I will give
you each one wish," says the genie. The American says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in America." With a
blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was forever made fertile for farming. The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so that no one
can come into our precious country." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around France. The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell
me more about this wall. The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out." The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water."
Q. What's the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf?
A. The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy, but the werewolf smells better
Q. Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees?
A. So the Germans could march in the shade.
Q. What do you call a Frenchman with a sheep under one arm and a goat under the other?
A. Bisexual.
Q. The American military wears combat boots. What does the French military wear?
A. Track shoes.
Q. How do you sink a French battleship?
A. Put it in water.
Q. Did you hear about the French Kamikaze?
A. He flew 30 successful missions.
A French firing squad stands in a circle, then surrenders.
Q. Why did the French agree to build the Channel tunnel?
A. To make it easier to escape to England when the Germans come again.
Q. What's green, cold, slimy and croaks?
A. A Frenchman.
Next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep France.
TOP TEN REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH
10 When speaking fast, you can make yourself sound gay.
9 Experience the joy of winning the World Cup for the first time.
8 You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.
7 If there's a war, you can surrender really early.
6 You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on TV.
5 You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.
4 You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.
3 Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride.
2 You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street.
1 People think you're a great lover even when you're not.
Q. Why are the French afraid of soap?
A1: Because if they drop it, the Germans will fuck them again
A2: They have never seen it before
Q. Why are the French so afraid of war?
A. You would be too if you never won one in your history.
The French still need more proof that Michael Jackson has had plastic surgery.
France did send Inspector Clouseau to Iraq to help with the inspections. Know what he found?
20 more votes for Al Gore.
Q. What would the French call a nuclear explosion in Paris?
A. Proof that more inspectors are needed.
I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!
A lion in the zoo was lying in the sun licking its rear end when a visitor turned to the zoo keeper and said, "That's a docile old thing isn't it?" "No way," said the zoo keeper, "it's
the most ferocious beast in the zoo. Why just an hour ago it dragged a Frenchman into the cage and completely devoured him." "Hardly seems possible" said the astonished
visitor, "but why is it lying there licking its rear?" "The poor thing is trying to get the taste out of its mouth."
The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her dog. The weary traveler asked, "Ma'am,
please move your dog. I need that seat." The French woman looked down her nose at the American, sniffed and said, You Americans. Your are such a rude class of people. Can't
you see my little FiFi is using that seat?" The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again
facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there?". I'm very tired." The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! Not only are
you rude, you are also arrogant... Imagine!" The American didn't say anything else, he leaned over, picked up the dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the
empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her honor and chastise the American. An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up
indignantly "You know,sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong
side of the road. And now, Sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."
A French and American general were surveying a battlefield. A bullet strikes the American general, grazing his arm. He shouts "Aide! Bring me my red jacket!" The French general
asks "Why did you do that?" The American general responds "So my men don't see that I'm bleeding, and lose hope." A second bullet narrowly misses the French general's ear,
and he shouts: "Aide! Bring me my brown trousers!"
A Frenchman, an American, and a Brit were all busy getting drunk in Saudi Arabia when the cops burst in. They were soon sentenced to death, but through good lawyers, the
three men were able to reduce their sentence to life. As luck would have it, it was a Saudi holiday, so the judge said, "Because it's a holiday you will each recieve 20 lashes and
be let go. It is customary to grant one wish before punishment. The Brit thinks and says, "Strap a pillow on my back." They do, but it only holds for 10 lashes. The Frenchman
sees this, and requests two pillows on his back. These only hold for 15 lashes. The judge turns to the American and says "Because you are from such a respectable country, you
get 2 wishes." The American replies, "I wish to be flogged 100 times, not 20." The judge thinks this is very honerable and asks "And your second?" The American answers "Strap
the Frenchman to my back."
A cannibal went into the butcher shop to buy some brains for dinner. She saw that American and British brains were $4.95 per lb and French brains were $450.00 per lb. She
gasped and asked the butcher if the price of the French brains were a misprint. "No ma'am," answered the butcher. "That is the correct price." "Well, why are the French brains so
expensive?" exclaimed the cannibal. "Do you know how many French it takes to get a pound of brains?" replied the butcher.
Q. Why do Frenchmen wear berets?
A. So they know which end to wipe.
Q. Did you hear about England's new zoo?
A. They put a fence around France.
Q. How do you get a one-armed Frenchman out of a tree?
A. Wave to him.
Q. How do you sink an American battleship?
A. Have the French build it.
NEWS FLASH: The French Open tennis tournament had to be cancelled. France has plenty of rackets, but no balls.
Q. What's the similarity between a Frenchman and a cue ball?
A. The harder you hit them, the more English you get out of them.
Q. Why do doctors like to operate on the French?
A. Because they have no guts, and their heads and arses are interchangeable.
The Tour de France is so popular with the French because it's the one sport where you don't need balls.
Q. How do you say "Give me liberty or give me death!" in French?
A. I give up.
Q. Did you hear about France's new weapons contracts?
A. They gave one to Ace Hardware to produce 250,000 wood sticks... they're still looking for a company to produce 250,000 little white flags.
Q. Where are the brave French soldiers buried?
A. There aren't any, so they had to bury some of ours on their soil.
QUOTATIONS ABOUT FRANCE
"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes." — Mark Twain
"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." — General George S. Patton
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." — Norman Schwartzkopf
"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." — Marge Simpson
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." — Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right." — Rush Limbaugh
"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." — Regis Philbin
"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of
coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know." — P.J O'Rourke (1989)
"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it." —John McCain, U.S.
Senator from Arizona
"They've taken their own precautions against Al Qaeda. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in
the house." — Argus Hamilton
"The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq." — Dennis Miller
"I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Chirac." — Dennis Miller
"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He IS French, people." — Conan O'Brien
"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!" — Jay Leno
"The last time the French asked for 'more proof,' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." — David Letterman

Raise your right hand if you like the French... Raise both hands if you are French.




I shouldn't tell black jokes, because there's a black man in my family tree... He's been hanging there for ages.
What's the difference between tyres and niggers? Tyres don't sing when you put chains on them.
What's the difference between a nigger and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four.
Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? He doesn't know he's black.
Why are people like jellybeans? Everyone hates the black ones.
What's the difference between Batman and a nigger? Batman can go out without Robin.
Why do niggers have white palms? There's a little bit of good in everyone.
Why else do niggers have white palms? They were leaning up against police cars when God spraypainted them.
Why do niggers have flat noses? Because when they're boorn, the doctors put them face-down before their tails are pulled off.
What does it say on the inside of a nigger's lips?
Inflate to 30 PSI.
Why do niggers wear hats?
So birds don't shit on their lips.
Why do seagulls have wings?
So they can beat the niggers to the tip.
A nigger dies and goes to heaven (already you know it's a joke). It Realises it has wings, and goes to see God. It says, "God, God, look at me - I'm an angel!" God says, "No,
you stupid nigger... You're a bat!!"
An abo falls down the side of Ayers rock, and, as chance would have it, manages to grab hold of a small bush growing out of the side. The boong goes, "Oh God, bin sabe me,
budda..!" Suddenly this great voice booms out: "Do you believe in me?" The abo says, "Yes God, I bin beliebe you, eh budda..." The voice says, "Well then, let go of the bush."
The abo cries, "but den I bin pall down an' I bin gonna die, budda..!" God says, "if you believe in me, you must put your faith in me. I will not let you fall; you will float gently to the
ground. Let go of the bush." So the abo lets go, and tumbles to the ground and splatters all over the ground. The voice says, "can't stand those black bastards!"
The Government must realise that abos have a hygiene problem. If you look at the back of a $2 coin, you can see the flies buzzing around the abo's head.
Why does the $2 coin have an abo on it?
To stop kids putting them in their mouths.
A school in Alice Springs was on fire. Due to fire blocking off the stairwell, the teacher smashed a window (you know it's a joke - buildings in Alice Springs have already had all
their windows broken), and saw firemen down below with a sheet pulled tight. One of the firemen looks up to where the glass fell from, and calls "You can't make it to the stairs,
you're going to have to throw the kids down!" So the teacher grabs the nearest kid and throws him out. The firemen catch him on the sheet, and he runs onto the oval. The
teacher then grabs another kid and thorws her out - the same thing happens. Then the teacher grabs an abo kid, throws it out, and sees the firemen pull the sheet away.
SPLAT! goes the abo on the ground. "That's a bit strange" thinks the teacher, "they mustn't've seen him". The teacher then throws out a few more kids, and they're all caught
safely on the sheet. Then another abo is thrown out, and again the firemen pull the sheet away. This one goes SPLAT! next to the first one. The teacher is a bit confused at this,
and is just about to yell down and ask why the firemen keep pulling the sheet away when the abo kids are thrown out the window, whan one of the firemen calls out to her, "Miss,
we don't need the burnt ones!"
Why don't niggers drive convertibles?
Their lips would beat them to death in the wind.
You know you're a racist when you won't go out at night because it's black.
Why are niggers so fast? All the slow ones are in gaol.
What do the KKK and anabolic steroids have in common? They both make niggers run like fuck!
What does a nigger get for Christmas? Your bike.
Why do niggers always have sex on their minds? They have pubes on their heads.
Why do more niggers get hit by cars in winter? They're easier to spot.
What do you call a black Priest? Holy Shit.
How did breakdancing get invented? Niggers were trying to steal hubcaps from moving cars.
Why do niggers have white palms? There's a little bit of good in everyone...
Why do medicine bottles have cotton at the top? To remind the niggers that they were all cotton-pickers before becoming drug-dealers.
Which word begins with 'n' and ends in 'r' that you never want to call a black? 'Neighbour'.
Why is Panadol White? Because it works.
How do you starve a nigger? Put his foodstamps under his workboots.
A nigger walked into a Texan bar. He yells, "Yo, where do all tha homies hang?" The bartender pointed to a tree out the back and said, "Out there..."
How do you stop niggers jumping on your bed? Stick Velcro on the ceiling.
What do you call one White man surrounded by 700 niggers? Warden.
A school in Brisbane was burning, and the fire had cut off the stairway. The teacher heard sirens outside, so stuck her head out the window. The big group of firemen below had a
sheet stretched out, and yelled up to her, "Quick, throw the kids out, and we'll catch them!" So she starts throwing kids out the window. After 4 White kids, she grabs a black kid
and throws him out, at which point, the firemen move the sheet out of the way. SPLAT! goes the nigger all over the ground. "That's strange", she thought, but continued throwing
the other kids out. She got another black kid and threw him out the window, and the firemen did the same thing as before; they moved the sheet away. SPLAT! went the second
nigger all over the ground. The firemen yelled up, "You can stop throwing out the burnt ones - we don't need them!"
What's 10km long and stinks? The line at Centrelink.
Why do niggers wear platform shoes? So their knuckles don't drag on the ground.
Why do niggers stink? So blind people can hate them too.
What do you get at a nigger's garage sale? All you stuff back.
How do you stop a nigger from drowning? Why would you want to?
A nigger died and went to heaven (now you know it's a joke). It's flying around with its new wings, and goes up to the angels and God, and says, "Look at me, I'm an angel too!"
God says, "No, you stupid nigger - you'ra a bat!"
What's the difference between dog shit and niggers?
When dog shit gets old it turns White and quits stinking.
What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?
Niggers.
Why don't sharks eat niggers?
They think it's whale shit.
What do you call a nigger in a tree with a briefcase?
Branch manager.
How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek?
They don't work in the future, either.
Why do niggers cry during sex?
The Mace.
How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
Take your foot off the back of his head.
How do you get a nigger out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
What did the Alabama sherriff call the nigger who had been shot 15 times?
Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.
What do you get when you cross a retard with a gang banger?
Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence.
What's a niggers idea of foreplay?
"Don't scream or I'll cut you, bitch."
Why do spics drive low-riders?
So they can cruise and pick lettuce at the same time.
What do you get when you cross a jew and a gypsy?
A chain of empty retail stores.
Why don't nigger kids play in the sandbox?
Cats keep covering them up.
What do you call an apartment full of niggers?
A COON-dominium.
Why are there no nigger astronauts?
Their lips explode at 50,000 feet.
How do you babysit a niglet?
Wet his lips and stick him to the wall.
How do you get him down?
Teach him to say "Motherfucker."
How else do you babysit a niglet?
Put Velcro on the ceiling and tell him to jump.
How do you get him down?
Invite the spics over, blindfold them and tell them it's a piñata party.
Why do jews have big noses?
Air is free.
What is a nigger on a bike?
Thief.
What do you call 50 niggers at the bottom of the ocean?
Good start.
What is the worst 3 years of a niggers life?
First grade.
How do you know Adam and Eve were not black?
You ever try to take a rib from a nigger?
What is a nigger?
Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road?
The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.
What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk?
"I set WHO free?"
Why are chimps always frowning?
They know in a million years they are going to turn into niggers.
Why is interrogating a Mexican like a pool ball?
The harder you hit it the more English you get.
How many jews can you fit in a VolksWagon?
All of them if you put them in the ashtray.
A nigger and a spic jump off the Empire State Building, who hits the ground first?
Who cares.
A nigger and a spic jump off the Empire State Building, who hits the ground first?
The spic, because the nigger had to stop on the way down and spray paint "motherfucker" on the wall.
Why don't spics have barbeques?
The beans keep falling through the grill.
You hear about the new car made in Israel?
Not only can it stop on a dime, it will go back and pick it up.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a pickle on his head?
A quarter-pounder.
How many Ethiopians can you fit in a phone booth?
All of them.
How do you start a foot race in Ethiopia?
Roll a doughnut down the street.
How many niggers does it take to pave a driveway?
One if you spread him real thin.
How do you blindfold a chink?
Dental floss.
How do chinks name their kids?
They throw silverware down the stairs.
What's the difference between a nigger and a bag of shit?
The bag.

What's the most confusing day in Harlem?
Father's Day.
When does a Black man turn into a nigger?
As soon as he leaves the room.
What do you call a nigger with a Harvard education?
Nigger.
What do you call a nigger in a courtroom in a 3 piece suit?
The defendant.
How long does it take a nigger bitch to take a shit?
9 months.
Why don't nigger women wear panties to picnics?
To keep the flies off the chicken.
Why does Alabama have niggers and California have earthquakes?
California got first pick.
Why do Mexican cars have those little steering wheels?
So they can drive handcuffed.
Why are niggers like sperm?
Only one in a million actually work.
What do you call Mike Tyson with no arms?
Nigger nigger nigger.
How do you fit 100 Cubans in a shoe box?
Tell them its a raft.
Why do police dogs lick their arse?
To get the taste of nigger out of their mouth.
Why did the nigger carry a piece of shit in his wallet?
I.D.
Why do niggers have flat noses?
That's where god put his feet when he was pulling off their tails.
Did you hear that the KKK bought the movie rights to Roots?
They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending.
What is the difference between a white owl and a black owl?
A white owl goes, "Who, who," a black owl goes, "Who dat? Who dat?"
Did you hear about the new Black Barbie?
It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare cheque.
What is black, white, and rolls off the end of the pier?
A nigger and a seagull fighting over a chicken wing.
What do you get when you cross a nigger with a gorilla?
A dumb gorilla.
Did you hear about the new Chap Stick for niggers?
It comes in a spray can.
What's the difference between niggers and pit-bulls?
It's still legal to own a pit-bull.
What do you say to a black man in uniform?
"I'll have a Big Mac with cheese and a coke."
Why do niggers walk the way they do?
Because they spent the first nine months of their lives dodging a coat hanger.
What happened when the Ethiopian fell in the crocodile pit?
He ate six crocs before they could pull him out.
Why do niggers call white people "honkies"?
That's the last sound they hear before the white people run them over.
How do you stop a nigger from going out?
Pour more petrol on him.
Did you hear about the nigger with insomnia?
He kept waking up twice a week.
What do you do if you run over a nigger?
Reverse.
Why do decent white folks shop at nigger yard sales?
To get all their stuff back.
Who were the three most famous women in black history?
Aunt Jemima, Diana Ross, and Mother Fucker!
Hear about the new bumper sticker that says "Run, Jesse, Run"?
You put it on the front of your car.
What do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles have in common?
They're both niggers.
How come Stevie Wonder & Ray Charles can't read?
They're both niggers.
Why do niggers wear wide-brimmed hats?
So pigeons can't shit on their lips.
Why did so many nigger soldiers get killed in Vietnam?
Every time someone yelled "Get down!" the niggers would jump up and start dancing.
What do you get when you cross a nigger with a Vietnamese?
Nothing. There are some things even a Vietnamese won't do.
What's black and tan and looks good on a nigger?
A Dobermann Pinscher.
What's the fastest animal in the world?
The Ethiopian chicken.
Did you hear about Evel Knieval's new motorcycle stunt?
He's going to ride through Ethiopia with a sandwich tied to his back.
Did you hear about Ku Klux Knieval?
He tried to jump 50 niggers with a steam roller.
Why was golf invented?
So white people get a chance to dress like niggers.
What do you do if you see a nigger with half a head?
Stop laughing and reload.
Why did god create orgasms?
So niggers know when to stop.
Why did god give niggers rhythm?
Because he fucked up their hair, nose, lips and skin.
Why are so many niggers moving to Detroit?
They heard there were no jobs there.
Why can't nigger women become nuns?
Because they can't get used to saying 'superior' after 'Mother'.
How do you fit 15 niggers in the back of a Cadillac?
Don't worry, they'll figure it out.
What's yellow and black and makes you laugh?
A bus full of niggers going over a cliff.
How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
You don't.
Whats blue and hangs in my front yard?
My nigger - I can paint him whatever colour I want.
Why do seagulls have wings?
To beat the niggers to the tip.
What's a crying shame?
When a bus full of niggers drives off a cliff and there were 3 empty seats.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a feather up his arse?
A dart.
Why did the Jews wander in the desert for 40 years?
Because one of them lost a quarter.
What does N.A.A.C.P stand for?
Niggers Are Always Causing Problems
How many spics does it take to have a bath?
Five, one to lie in the tub and four to spit on him.
What do a nigger and an apple have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
Why are niggers always buried 12 feet deep?
Deep down they're good people.
What's the difference between a porch monkey and a yard ape?
The length of the chain.
What's black, orange, and very pretty?
A nigger on fire.
What do you have if you've got a nigger up to his neck in cement?
Not enough cement.
How was copper wire invented?
Two jews fighting over a penny.
What does "Pontiac" stand for? Poor Old Nigger Thinks It's A Cadillac.
Why are there trees in Harlem?
Public transportation.
How does a black woman fight crime?
She has an abortion.
What do you say when you see your T.V. floating around at night?
"Drop it, nigger."
How does a nigger pick his nose?
From a mail-order catalogue.
What is the title of the nigger's favourite how-to-book?
"How to Steal, Rape and Murder".
When a nigger throws a party, what do his guests drive?
Their homes - they live in their cars.
What did the sunbather shout at the nigger?
Ain't you dark enough already?
What is a nigger's ideal of a perfect 10?
Any White woman he can get.
Why did the nigger want his own kid?
So he won't have to pick his own watermelons.
What repulsive thing can be found in a nigger's clothes?
The nigger.
What's black, stinky and ugly?
Any nigger you have the misfortune to stumble on.
Why did Coke fire the nigger?
He kept trying to SNIFF it instead of DRINK it.
Why are niggers' pants so big?
So they can conceal more weapons.
What caused the nigger's problem?
Mother nature.
Why do niggers relate so well to monkeys?
Blood is thicker than water..
Why do niggers have a tough guy reputation?
They're often confused for gorillas.
What happened when the nigger looked up his family tree?
A gorilla shat on his face.
What do you call a nigger with a peg leg?
Shit on a stick!
I like black people... I used to have some black friends 'til my dad sold them!
Why don't niggers like blowjobs?
They don't like any jobs.
Why don't niggers play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
What are three things you can't give a nigger?
A black eye, a fat lip and a job.
What did the nigger say when he slid down the zebra?
Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't.
What is the difference between a pair of jeans and an Ethiopian?
A pair of jeans only has one fly on it.
What's the difference between a nigger and a letter?
You can send a letter back to where it came from.
What's the difference between the holy grail and a nigger's daddy?
You may find the grail.
What is black, runny, and scratches on glass?
A nigger in a microwave.
Do you remember the nigger family on the Jetsons? No?
The future looks pretty good!
Why don't jews like oral sex?
It's too close to the gas chamber.
Why don't you run over a nigger on a bike?
It's probably your bike.
Why do niggers drive with their windows up?
They think the smell is coming from outside.
Why do niggers like basketball?
It involves running, shooting and stealing.
What has four legs and an arm?
A happy pitbull.
How do you know if a nigger is well hung?
If you can't fit your finger between his neck and the noose.
A spic walks into a bar and says, "Hey, nigger, give me a drink." The nigger bartender says, "I'll give you a drink, but I would appreciate it if you wouldn't refer to me as a "nigger."
"Oh man!, I am sure sorry about that bro'. Won't happen again." A few minutes later the spic says, "Hey moon crickett, another round." The nigger says,"Hey, look, I really don't
want you calling me "moon crickett" either." The spic says,"Sorry bootlips, I didn't mean anything by it." The bartender says, "OK that's it! How would you like it if you were the
bartender and I came in here calling you names?" "I don't know, let's find out." So the spic puts on an apron and goes behind the bar and the nigger walks outside and comes back
in and shouts, "Hey wetback! I want a fucking drink!" The "bartender" stops washing glasses and says, "Oh, I'm sorry, we don't serve niggers in here."
A nigger walks into a bar with a duck on his shoulder. Bartender says, "Hey, cool, where did you get that?" Duck says, "Africa - they're all over the fucking place."
It was the Summer of 1968, and a nigger showed up at the Pearly Gates. Peter comes out and says, "Uh, is there something I can do for you? I mean, we don't let niggers in
here." "I know," said the nigger, "It's just that, I am from Alabama, and I grew up around White folks, and I like White folks, and I even married a White woman, so I thought maybe
I could get in." Peter said, "Wait, you say you married a White woman in Alabama? When the hell was this?" The nigger looks at his watch and says, "Oh, about 10 minutes ago."
2 priests are arguing over whether God is black or White. Finally the one says he will just go ask God himself. When he comes back he says with a shrug, "I don't know, he just
said 'I am what I am'" The other priest says, Well, that proves it! God is white!" "How can you be so sure?" "Well, because, if God was a nigger he would have said, "I is what I is."
The F.B.I. sends an agent to South Africa to learn how the police there stop riots. The South African Police General takes him to a township disturbance where the police fire tear
gas grenades at the niger mob. The mob runs away a few blocks, regroups, and comes rushing back at the police. Then the cops open up on them with powerful fire hoses,
sending the rioters spinning down the street like soccer balls. They regroup and come charging back again, only to be met with squads of German Shepherd attack dogs. They
bite those niggers so full of holes that they run like hell and don't come back. "Very impressive," says the F.B.I. agent, "But let me ask you; since the dogs were so effective, why
not just use them first?" "Ah, you don't understand," said the Police general, "The niggers down here smell so bad, first we have to fumigate them and rinse them off before our
dogs will touch them."
A first grade teacher wanted to help her students learn black history so one Thursday, she told them that she would read them some famous quotes and whoever could guess who
said it could stay home from school the next day. The first one she read was, "By any means necessary." Hands shot up. "Yes, Leroy, can you tell me who said that?"
"Malcom X." "That's right," said the teacher, "You may go home now, and you don't have to come to class tomorrow." The next one was, "I have a dream." Again, dozens of little
black hands went up. "Yes, Shaquita, do you know who said that?" "Martin Luther King, Jr." "Why yes, that's right, you can go home early and skip school tomorrow also." From
the back of the classroom came a disgusted voice, "You goddamn niggers make me fucking sick." The teacher ran to the back of the room and screamed, "Who said that!?" The
little White boy jumped out of his chair and headed for the door, saying on his way out, "David Duke. See ya Monday, bitch!"
A little niglet put some flour on his face and when his mother came home he said, "Look Momma, I is a White boy!" She slapped him and sent him to his room. When his father
came home he came running out and said, "Look Daddy, I is a White boy!" His father slapped him and sent him to his room. Finally the boy's grandmother came home and the
boy thought for sure that she wouldn't be so mean, so he ran out and said, "Hey, I is a White boy!" When his grandmother also slapped his face, the boy shouted, "I has only
been White for 15 minutes and I already hate you damn niggers!"
What does FUBU stand for?
Farmers Used to Buy Us
What does FUBU stand for?
Farmers Used to Beat Us
What does NAACP stand for?
Niggers Against All Caucasian People
What does NAACP stand for?
Now Apes Are Called People
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.
Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
He thought it was a delivery service.
What do you call 10 niggers in a steam room?
Gorillas In The Mist.
How does Santa Claus know he's at a Jewish house?
There is a parking meter on the roof.
What do you throw a drowning nigger?
The rest of his family.
Why did so few niggers vote for Jesse Jackson?
He promised them jobs.
How is a nigger like a broken gun?
It doesn't work and you can't fire it.
What do you call 5 niggers hanging from a tree?
A Mississippi wind chime.
Why did the nigger cross the road?
Who the fuck cares - why is he out of the cotton field?!
Do you know why flies have wings?
So they can get away from the niggers.
What's the difference between a pothole and a nigger?
You'd swerve to avoid a pothole, wouldn't you?
Why don't niggers stick their heads out of moving vehicles?
Their lips catching the wind will beat them to death.
What do you call a nigger hitchiker?
Stranded.
What do you call a nigger after his white girlfriend breaks up with him?
Homeless.
What's the difference between nigger pussy and a bowling ball?
You could eat a bowling ball if you had to.
How do you get a nigger to commit suicide?
Toss a bucket of fried chicken into traffic.
What do you call a nigger with an IQ of 15?
Gifted.
What is a nigger's favourite anti-perspirant?
Unemployment.
What's the first thing taught in a ghetto driving school?
How to unlock a car with a coat hanger.
Why were wheelbarrows invented?
To teach niggers to walk on their hind legs.
What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe?
Canoes tip.
What do you call a nigger with a regular job, who doesn't drive a lowrider, sleeps in the same bed every night, doesn't collect welfare, and doesn't rape White women?
An inmate.
A nigger walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I'm tired of handouts, I want a job."
The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You'll
have to drive around in a big white Mercedes, but the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and you will also be
required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays. The salary package is $200,000 a year."
The nigger said, "Ah c'mon, you're bullshitting me!"
The man behind the counter said, "Well, you started it!"
What do you call 1,000 niggers going down a hill?
A mudslide!
What was missing from the Million Man March?
About a thousand miles of chain and an auctioneer!
What did God say when he made the second nigger?
Oops! Burnt another one!
Why is a nigger like a vending machine?
Neither work, but they both take your money!
What do you call a bunch of old niggers in a barn?
Antique farm equipment!
What's the difference between bigfoot and a working nigger?
Bigfoot's been spotted!
Why shouldn't you throw rocks at a nigger driving by?
It could be your car!
What's 8 miles long and has a combined IQ of 56? The Martin Luther King Day parade!
How do you stop 4 niggers raping a White woman? Throw them a basketball.
There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night.
I had to shoot him before he stole everything.
What would Martin Luther King, Jr be if he was white?
Alive!
A Nigger runs into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, Doctor I can't stop running around!" The doctor says, "Okay, take this tablet." The Nigger slows down and stops. He said,
"WOW! It really worked! I've tried everything! What was it?" The doctor says, "It's Persil - Stops colours running."
What do a slinky and a nigger have in common?
Both are useless and it's fun to watch them both falling down the stairs.
Aboriginal, Jew and Australian, drinking beer in an outback pub. One night as they're leaving, a road train comes through the town and kills all three. The next day, the publican is
surprised to see the Australian - who he assumed was dead - walking through the door. The Australian tells him, "Well, we were all killed, but when we got to the pearly gates, St.
Peter said we could come back to earth if we pay him $20." "Well, obviously, you paid up, but what happened to your friends?" "The jew's trying to haggle him down to $10, and
abo is trying to convince him that the government will pay for it."
What do you call an abo with 1 sheet of tin over his head? 1st home owner.
What do you call an abo with 2 sheets of tin over his head? A real estate agent.
A man walks into a shoe store looking for a nice pair of shoes. An assistant asks if he can help, so the man tells the assistant he's looking for a really nice pair of shoes, a pair
like nobody else would have. The assistant leads the man to the back room, opens a draw and pulls out a pair of shoes. He says, "These are the most unique shoes, made from
human skin! They're $10,000". The man looks at them and says they're a bit pricey, so the assistant says, "We also have them in black for $2.99"
What do you call the black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow niggers!
What would you do if you had enough money to send half the niggers back to Africa?
Send them all back half way.
Why do people hit things when they don't work?
It worked with the slaves!
What do you call a tribe of abos going down a water slide?
Sewage.
What's transparent and lies in the gutter? A nigger with the shit kicked out of it.
What do you call an Abo with a job? A myth.
Why didn't the tanks run over people at Tiananmen square?
They couldn't go over slopes.
What's the difference between white fairy tales and black fairy tales?
White fairy tales starts, "Once upon a time..."; Black fairy tales
starts, "Yo, you niggers ain't never gon' believe dis shit..."
What do you call a wog in hospital? Fully sick, bro.
How do you know if an abo has been in your house? Your thongs are gone and your dog is pregnant.
I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.
An abo walks into a pub with a billy tin and a piece of tin roofing.
The bartender asks, "how'd the divorce go?"
"Pretty good; I got home and contents"
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's latest CD?
No? Well, neither has he!
Man to Stevie Wonder: "What's it like being blind?"
Says Stevie: "Well, it's better than being Black!"
Did you hear about the nice lady who gave Stevie Wonder a ticket to see Marcel Marceau?
Did you hear about the two abos who appeared on the TV show "That's Incredible"?
One didn't drink and the other had a job.
What did Jesus say on the cross to the niggers?
"Don't do anything until I come back."
What's two miles long and has an IQ of forty?
An Aboriginal Land Rights protest march.
I wouldn't say that abos have a hygiene problem, but if you look carefully at the picture on the back of the $2 coin, you can see the flies buzzing around the abo's head.
An abo falls off the edge of Ayers Rock. On the way down, he just manages to grab hold of a bush to save himself.
As he's hanging there, wondering what to do, a great loud voice booms down from the heavens.
"This is God speaking" says the great voice.
"Yes, God?" says the abo.
"Do you want me to help you?"
"Yes, please, God."
"Do you believe in me?"
"Yes, God."
"Then let go of the bush, and everything will be alright"
The abo lets go of the bush, and plunges to the ground below. Splat!
The great voice booms down again: "Can't stand those black bastards!"
Truck driver doing the long haul from Melbourne to Perth. Sees three abos ahead on the road. Thinks "Bewdy", puts his foot flat down on the accelerator, speeds down the road,
hits them all.
One abo gets knocked into a nearby paddock; one gets smashed through the truck's windscreen; the other lands 100 yards down the road, gets up and runs away.
Just then a cop car pulls up. "Oh, no!!" thinks the truckie. Cop asks truckie what happened, truckie thinks he'd better "come clean", so tells him the truth.
"No worries" says the cop, "we'll charge the first abo with trespass, the second with break and enter, and the third with leaving the scene of an accident".

On his way back, the same truckie picks up a hitchhiker. After a while the hitchhiker says he's tired, and lays down in the truck's "sleeper" compartment for a rest.
A while later the hitchhiker is woken up by the noise of the truck running over something: "BASH!, BASH!, BASH!".
"What's all the racket?" he asks the driver.
"Oh, I just hit an abo".
"But what was all that other noise?".
"Well, I had to go over two fences to get the bastard".
On yet another journey, the truckie gives a lift to a priest. Later, as he's barrelling down the road, he sees an abo ahead, he plants the foot down, and speeds towards him. At the
last moment, he remembers he's got the priest on board, and swerves, just missing the Abo. He thinks he missed it, but is sure he heard a thump.
"I'm terribly sorry about that, Father - I almost his that abo."
"That's OK, my son, I got him with the door".
Fred: "There's only one thing worse than bigots".
Jim: "What's that?.
Fred: "Abos!"
If someone doesn't like to hear Abo jokes being told, it's probably because they're "dark" on the idea.
Why did God give the Jews two stone tablets of Biblical Commandments?
Well, first of all, God had offered His Commandments to the Germans. "Impossible!" they replied, "What's this stuff about thou shalt not kill? It's natural to kill". And so they refused
them.
So then God offered them to the French. "What's this rubbish about thou shalt not commit adultery?" they exclaimed, "It's in our blood! It's part of our way of life!". And so they
refused them too.
So eventually God offered them to the Jews. "How much are they?" asked the Jews. "They're free" came the reply. "In that case, we'll take two!"
What's the definition of a virgin in the Middle East?
Any camel that can run faster than an Muslim.
Teacher says to class: "I shall now read you some quotes. Whoever can tell me who said them, and when, they can go home early".
Teacher: "Who said "We will fight them on the beaches"?"
Lim Sung Wu: "Winston Churchill, 1942".
Teacher: "Very good, you can go home right now, if you wish".
Lim Sung Wu: "I will stay teacher, I'm going to be a doctor, and I need to learn all I can".
Teacher: "Who said "I shall return"?"
Sing Lam Po: "Douglas McArthur, 1944".
Teacher: "Very good, you can go home right now, if you wish".
Sing Lam Po: "I will stay teacher, I'm going to be a lawyer, and I need to learn all I can".
Johnny, at the back of the room, mutters: "Bloody Asians".
Teacher: "Who said that?"
Johnny: "Pauline Hanson, 1996", and he runs out of the room, "I'm going home now, see you tomorrow, teacher".
There's a plane flying over the Atlantic, with six passengers: a Frenchman, a pregnant French woman, an Englishman, a pregnant English woman, an Australian, and a pregnant
Asian-Australian woman.
Lightning strikes both wings, and the plane is going out of control. The pilot rushes up to the passengers, and says "I'm sorry, but there's only 4 parachutes. As I'm the pilot, it's
essential that I get back to tell everyone what happened to the plane; you'll have to work out who gets the other three parachutes", so saying, he jumps out of the plane, opens
his parachute and floats down to the ground.
The Frenchman looks at the pregnant French woman, and says "France needs more Frenchmen, therefore I do this for my country" and he jumps out of the plane without a
parachute. The Englishman looks at the pregnant English woman, and says "I do this for my country", and jumps out of the plane without a parachute. The Australian looks at the
pregnant Asian-Australian woman, and says "I do this for my country", and pushes her out of the plane.
The world's shortest books:
Irish Wit and Wisdom.
Jewish Business Ethics.
Italian War Heroes.
Negroes I Have Met While Yachting.
Aboriginal Hygeine Hints.
Great Women Drivers of Today.
Beauty Secrets by Cathy Freeman.
What's positive about niggers? HIV.
What's another word for cocoon?
N-Nigger.
Why are the palms of niggers' hands white?
Because they were all leaned up against cop cars when God spray-painted them.
What do you do if you see a drowning Nigger?
Throw him an anchor.
What does it say inside a Nigger's lips?
"Inflate to twenty PSI".
Why don't Niggers drive convertibles?
Their lips would slap them to death in the wind.
What are the three greatest lies?
1) I'm from the government, I'm here to help you.
2) The cheque is in the mail.
3) Black is beautiful.
Why did the Leb cross the road?
To beat up the chicken for looking at him.
Why did the Leb's 700 cousins cross the road?
The chicken was winning.
Why does Beyonce sing "To the left, to the left"? Because niggers have no rights.
When asked to justify the Apartheid policy, the representative of the South African Government said, "If you mix shit with ice cream, you don't make the shit taste any better, but
you certainly fuck up the ice cream."
SORRY
AUSTRALIAN APOLOGY TO THE ABORIGINAL POPULATION
We apologise for giving you doctors and free medical care, which allows you to survive and multiply so that you can demand apologies.
We apologise for helping you to read and teaching you the English language and thus we opened up to you the entire European civilisation, thought and enterprise.
We feel that we must apologise for building hundreds of homes for you, which you have vandalised and destroyed.
We apologise for giving you law and order which has helped prevent you from slaughtering one another and using the unfortunate for food purposes.
We apologise for developing large farms and properties, which today feed you people, where before, you had the benefits of living off the land and starving during droughts.
We apologise for providing you with warm clothing made of fabric to replace that animal skins you used before.
We apologise for building roads and railway tracks between cities and building cars so that you no longer have to walk over harsh terrain.
We apologise for paying off your vehicle when you fail to pay the installments
We apologise for giving you free travel anywhere, whenever..
We apologise for giving each and every member of your family $100.00 and free travel to attend an aboriginal funeral.
We apologise for not charging you rent on any lands when white people have to pay.
We apologise for giving you interest free loans.
We apologise for developing oil wells and minerals, including gold and diamonds which you never used and had no idea of their value.
We apologise for developing Ayers rock and Kakadu, and handing them over to you so that you get all the money.
We apologise for allowing taxpayers money paid towards daughters' wedding ($8,000.00 each daughter)
We apologise for giving you $1.7 billion per year for your 250,000 people, which is $48,000.00 per aboriginal man, woman and child.
We apologize for working hard to pay taxes that finance your welfare, medical care, education, etc to the tune of $1.2 billion each year.
We apologise for you having to approach the aboriginal affairs department to verify the above figures. For the trouble you will have identifying the 'uncle toms' in your own
community who are getting richer and leaving some of you living in squalor and poverty.
We do apologise. We really do.
We humbly beg your forgiveness for all the above sins. We are only too happy to take back all the above and return you to the paradise of the 'outback', whenever you are ready.



Sell your car fast. Need a new model in your life?

Dam, lots of lols & still going!

wow they just keep going

congrats to whoever manages to read all of them!

fuck that took for ever some good ones but

did anyone actually waste their time reading the 1000000000 things there???

Read the first few french ones - good stuff