ok so lately ive been receiving some pretty gold txt jks..
i Know they arent the same on the interwebs but i thought id share!


1. An aboriginal family has just moved in next door,
The three kids have challenged me to a water fight,
Im just writing to u while i wait for the kettle to boil!!


2. I was doing my shopping at coles yesterday, had 2 full trolleys of party food, and my weekly shopping,
when a little old lady got behind me in the que, she only had a 1L carton of milk for her shopping,
so i turned to her and asked "is that all youve got love?"
she replied "yes"
So i did the decent thing and said
"if i were u i would fuck off to another till, cause im gonna be a while!"


3.i used to have a full time job at the local bottle shop,
until i got fired on my first day,
a car load of chinese came in and asked me wat i thought the best port was,
I replied HONG KONG, now fuck off.


4. Greg inglis asked his Girl freind to smell the cheese,
She said it smelt like coon.
The rest is history!!

lol some were funny lol

heres a couple i had sent to me:

"just for fun, last night we all chose nicknames as birds. i got owl (clever), my mate got kingfisher (good angler), and you got thrush (irritating c#nt!)"

"the 8 year old boy who weighs 14 stone was asked earlier on TV today what his favourite musical instrument was at school. the fat bastard said the lunch bell"

"two women on their way back from a night out stop in a graveyard for a piss. one wipes her fanny with her knickers and the other uses a wreath. their two husbands were in the pub the next day. one says 'id better watch my wife, she came home last night with no knickers on' the other man says, 'thats fuck all, mine came home with a card wedged in her arse saying, we'll never forget you. from all the boys at the council."

"Doing my bit for the help the retards day, took 3 of them out for a shopping trip, lost one in mcdonalds, one in target, where the fuck are you"?

the top one was the best

heres one i got the other day

to find out what sex you are, look down.














down





















down











down






































down


































down


































down













































































down























































i said LOOK down not scroll down ya fuckin retard

bahahah last one!

not bad aye

hmmmmmmm

''What does a tin roof and your missus have in common? if you dont nail it hard enough they will end up over in the neighbours house''

One I got yesterday.

'I'm at the wharf in Port Hedland ad have just seen an abo fall in the water and start drowning. Of course I immediately notified the authorities, haven't heard anything yet, hope I haven't wasted a stamp'

I got a new car radio for my car, I say rock and it plays rock i say rap and it plays rap. 2 kids ran in front of me, i said fucking kids and it played michael jackson....

foward this message to 10 people.......



and you will get




FUCK ALL.
THATS RIGHT FUCK ALL. YOU WONT GET GOOD LUCK OR A NICE SUPRISE. JUST FUCK ALL.....
Its true.....
It works.........
I sent it on and got FUCK ALL. Dont break the chain! Its the only one of these fucking things that actually works..........