Two country girls were sitting on their front porch one evening. One girl had just arrived back from Sydney and she was telling her girlfriend about some of the sights she had seen in the big city.

In a country drawl, she says, "You know, they have women up there who have sex with other women."

In a whispered voice, her friend replies, "Oh, my! What do they call them?"

"They call them lesbians. "

"And there's men who have sex with other men," says the first girl, "They call them homosexuals."

Then, she pauses, lowers her voice even more and says, "And, they have these men up there that will put their face in a woman's privates and kiss and lick all around..."

"Do tell!" gasps her friend, "What do they call them?"

"Fucked if I know, I just patted him on the head and called him Precious."




At the card shop: A woman was spending a long time looking at the cards, finally shaking her head, "No." A clerk came over and asked, "May I help you?"
"I don't know," said the woman. "Do you have any 'Sorry I laughed at your dick' cards?"




Mrs. Schmidlap hires a maid with beautiful blonde hair. The first morning, the girl pulls off the hair and says, "I wear a wig, because I was born totally hairless. Not a hair on my body, not even down there."

That night, Mrs. Schmidlap tells her husband. He says, "I've never seen anything like that. Please, tomorrow, ask her to go into the bedroom and show you. I want to hide in the closet so I can have a look."

The next day, Mrs. Schmidlap asks the girl, the two of them go into the bedroom, and the girl strips and shows her. Then the girl says, "I've never seen one with hair on it. Can I see yours?" So Mrs. Schmidlap pulls off her clothes and shows her.

That night, Mrs. Schmidlap says to her husband, "I hope you're satisfied, because I was pretty embarrassed when that girl asked to see mine."

Her husband says, "You think you were embarrassed... I had the four guys I play poker with in the closet with me."