Welcome Guest

Log In | Register

 
Start new topic
Make Your Own Jerry Springer Show, heh
Jax
post Jan 19 2005, 10:26 AM
Post #1


Fair haired flamenco dancer

***

Group: Senior Members
Posts: 1,015
Off Topic Posts: 2,165
Joined: 16-February 03
From: The depths of Fortitude Valley
Member No.: 1,573



amusing.... smile.gif


--------------------
The artist formerly known as rycegirl...

MX5 powahhhh

Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
DJC
post Jan 19 2005, 10:31 AM
Post #2


MX-5

****

Group: Users
Posts: 1,958
Off Topic Posts: 3,185
Joined: 5-April 04
From: Brisbane
Member No.: 8,898



haha yer not bad, good for a laugh thumbsup.gif


--------------------
FireTricks - 'Fire Spinning Community' [Shop - Tutorials - Blogs - Community - Forums]

Imperial Events - 'Entertainment & Promotions'

Oz-Directory - 'Australian Community'

Oz-Entertainment - 'Australian Entertainment & Artists Listings'
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Sir Holden
post Jan 19 2005, 10:42 AM
Post #3


Banned.
Contributing Member!

*****

Group: Senior Members
Posts: 3,186
Off Topic Posts: 3,394
Joined: 17-December 03
From: Petrie, Brisbane
Member No.: 6,733



LOL, quite a hilarious result laugh.gif
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
57ING
post Jan 19 2005, 10:47 AM
Post #4


FQ300

*****

Group: Technical Members
Posts: 7,123
Off Topic Posts: 5,612
Joined: 27-May 04
From: Brisneyland
Member No.: 9,905



Hahahaha not to bad.


The Jerry Springer Show : Episode 627 : "Marriage Meltdown!"


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[The crowd starts chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"]

Jerry: Tonight on "The Jerry Springer Show" we have a particularly interesting episode! Paul is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend, Dave. So everyone, please put your hands together for Paul!

[The crowd whoops and hollers]

Jerry: Okay, now Paul you're here to talk about someone aren't you?

You: Yes.

Jerry: And what is this other person's name?

You: Rajna.

[The crowd squeals with delight]

Jerry: Okay, okay, well Rajna, is actually here tonight ...

[The crowd squeals]

Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Paul, because as it happens there is someone else here to see you! So let's bring out ... Shannon!

You: What the HELL!!!

[Out of nowhere you pull out a chair. Shannon reaches for the Table. Out of the shadows Belinda appears]

Belinda: Wait everybody, wait!

Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First, tell us why you're here Shannon.

Shannon: Because I saw Paul and Belinda making out at Coles!

[The crowd goes absolutely insane]

Belinda: That's a lie! I was home watching Seinfeld!

Jerry: [raising his hands] Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here ... what exactly is the problem Shannon?

Shannon: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Dave who has recently become engaged to Belinda.

[The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement]

Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Dave out here because Paul had something that they needed to tell them anyway about ... Rajna that's right!

Dave: [enters onto stage and saunters over towards you] What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Rajna! You know how I feel about Rajna!

Belinda: [screams] What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Rajna!

Dave: Because I knew that I could never have Rajna. But Paul promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!

Belinda: What about respect for my feelings!

[Shannon walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Dave]

Shannon: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.

[Again the crowd squeals]

Belinda: Oh my God! Are you sick!?

[Belinda runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly]

Belinda: Paul take me away from all of this!

You: You see? That's the thing ... I'm ... well, I'm married ...

[The crowd does its bit]

Belinda: Married?

[You nod]

Belinda: Who the hell are you married to? When ... when did this happen? I don't understand!

You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Rajna.

Dave: [screaming] WHAT!!!

Jerry: [grinning widely, makes an enquiry] So ... did you have a nice wedding night?

Rajna: [stepping back out onto center stage] Well we had sex 7 times if that's what you mean.

[The crowd squeals]

Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight ... Paul is married to Rajna who Dave has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Dave has recently become engaged to Belinda who was recently spotted kissing Paul in Coles. Now on top of this, Shannon has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Dave.

Rajna: That's right Jerry.

Jerry: [looking sternly into the camera] It's times like these that one has to wonder whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks - it's been great - but for now, take care of yourselves ... and each other.

[Cue cheesy background music and fade to black]



--------------------
210kwatw 370Nm

YOUR HOME LOAN GUY

Evo 9
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Barely Legal Cus...
post Jan 19 2005, 01:13 PM
Post #5


Arrogance Is Bliss
Contributing Member!

*****

Group: Members
Posts: 6,801
Off Topic Posts: 8,589
Joined: 27-May 03
From: Brisneyland
Member No.: 2,725



Another day in the life of sting^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The crowd starts chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"]

Jerry: Tonight on "The Jerry Springer Show" we have a particularly interesting episode! nik is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend, james. So everyone, please put your hands together for nik!

[The crowd whoops and hollers]

Jerry: Okay, now nik you're here to talk about someone aren't you?

You: Yes.

Jerry: And what is this other person's name?

You: kate.

[The crowd squeals with delight]

Jerry: Okay, okay, well kate, is actually here tonight ...

[The crowd squeals]

Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you nik, because as it happens there is someone else here to see you! So let's bring out ... cletus!

You: What the HELL!!!

[Out of nowhere you pull out a fridge. cletus reaches for the lava lamp. Out of the shadows shazza appears]

shazza: Wait everybody, wait!

Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First, tell us why you're here cletus.

cletus: Because I saw nik and shazza making out at walmart!

[The crowd goes absolutely insane]

shazza: That's a lie! I was home watching bush mechanics!

Jerry: [raising his hands] Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here ... what exactly is the problem cletus?

cletus: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with james who has recently become engaged to shazza.

[The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement]

Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring james out here because nik had something that they needed to tell them anyway about ... kate that's right!

james: [enters onto stage and saunters over towards you] What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with kate! You know how I feel about kate!

shazza: [screams] What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with kate!

james: Because I knew that I could never have kate. But nik promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!

shazza: What about respect for my feelings!

[cletus walks suddenly across the stage, embracing james]

cletus: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.

[Again the crowd squeals]

shazza: Oh my God! Are you sick!?

[shazza runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly]

shazza: nik take me away from all of this!

You: You see? That's the thing ... I'm ... well, I'm married ...

[The crowd does its bit]

shazza: Married?

[You nod]

shazza: Who the hell are you married to? When ... when did this happen? I don't understand!

You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to kate.

james: [screaming] WHAT!!!

Jerry: [grinning widely, makes an enquiry] So ... did you have a nice wedding night?

kate: [stepping back out onto center stage] Well we had sex 3 times if that's what you mean.

[The crowd squeals]

Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight ... nik is married to kate who james has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now james has recently become engaged to shazza who was recently spotted kissing nik in walmart. Now on top of this, cletus has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with james.

kate: That's right Jerry.

Jerry: [looking sternly into the camera] It's times like these that one has to wonder whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks - it's been great - but for now, take care of yourselves ... and each other.





--------------------
Barely Legal Customs - We've Got Low Standards & Everyone Else Has It In Their Sig.

IPB Image
2006 - Most loved boost member! :Heart: Everyone
57ING - Loan man Pm Him!
QUOTE(Hot Chicks on Boostcruising.com @ Mar 3 2006, 01:57 PM)
hehe manic 180 you are funny :)
but my friends told me to be careful of you

Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
XP_Pursuit
post Jan 19 2005, 01:32 PM
Post #6


Standard User

**

Group: Users
Posts: 189
Off Topic Posts: 33
Joined: 10-December 03
From: Australia
Member No.: 6,638



Read mine Read mine!



The Jerry Springer Show : Episode 627 : "Marriage Meltdown!"


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[The crowd starts chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"]

Jerry: Tonight on "The Jerry Springer Show" we have a particularly interesting episode! Matt is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend, Barney. So everyone, please put your hands together for Matt!

[The crowd whoops and hollers]

Jerry: Okay, now Matt you're here to talk about someone aren't you?

You: Yes.

Jerry: And what is this other person's name?

You: Marion.

[The crowd squeals with delight]

Jerry: Okay, okay, well Marion, is actually here tonight ...

[The crowd squeals]

Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Matt, because as it happens there is someone else here to see you! So let's bring out ... Marcos!

You: What the HELL!!!

[Out of nowhere you pull out a Big Floppy Dick®. Marcos reaches for the My Great Uncles Antique Big Floppy Dick Chair®. Out of the shadows Karen appears]

Karen: Wait everybody, wait!

Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First, tell us why you're here Marcos.

Marcos: Because I saw Matt and Karen making out at Big Floppy Dicks-R-US®!

[The crowd goes absolutely insane]

Karen: That's a lie! I was home watching Fox8's Floppy Dick-athon®!

Jerry: [raising his hands] Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here ... what exactly is the problem Marcos?

Marcos: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Barney who has recently become engaged to Karen.

[The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement]

Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Barney out here because Matt had something that they needed to tell them anyway about ... Marion that's right!

Barney: [enters onto stage and saunters over towards you] What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Marion! You know how I feel about Marion!

Karen: [screams] What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Marion!

Barney: Because I knew that I could never have Marion. But Matt promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!

Karen: What about respect for my feelings!

[Marcos walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Barney]

Marcos: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.

[Again the crowd squeals]

Karen: Oh my God! Are you sick!?

[Karen runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly]

Karen: Matt take me away from all of this!

You: You see? That's the thing ... I'm ... well, I'm married ...

[The crowd does its bit]

Karen: Married?

[You nod]

Karen: Who the hell are you married to? When ... when did this happen? I don't understand!

You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Marion.

Barney: [screaming] WHAT!!!

Jerry: [grinning widely, makes an enquiry] So ... did you have a nice wedding night?

Marion: [stepping back out onto center stage] Well we had sex 63 times if that's what you mean.

[The crowd squeals]

Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight ... Matt is married to Marion who Barney has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Barney has recently become engaged to Karen who was recently spotted kissing Matt in Big Floppy Dicks-R-US®. Now on top of this, Marcos has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Barney.

Marion: That's right Jerry.

Jerry: [looking sternly into the camera] It's times like these that one has to wonder whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks - it's been great - but for now, take care of yourselves ... and each other.

[Cue cheesy background music and fade to black]
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Steph75
post Jan 19 2005, 01:45 PM
Post #7


Standard User

**

Group: Users
Posts: 95
Off Topic Posts: 191
Joined: 27-May 04
From: Wollongong
Member No.: 9,906



heheh so fun great find thumbsup.gif

im in tears at work bowrofl.gif


--------------------
user posted image
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Dipper
post Jan 19 2005, 04:04 PM
Post #8


Standard User

**

Group: Guests
Posts: 325
Off Topic Posts: 46
Joined: 8-December 04
From: South Australia
Member No.: 16,545



hahaha thats gold mate.top stuff thumbsup.gif bowrofl.gif


--------------------
user posted image
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Lost_In_Logan
post Jan 19 2005, 05:19 PM
Post #9


Standard User

**

Group: Users
Posts: 339
Off Topic Posts: 407
Joined: 27-June 04
From: Logan , Queensland, Australia .
Member No.: 10,541



The Jerry Springer Show : Episode 627 : "Marriage Meltdown!"


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[The crowd starts chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"]

Jerry: Tonight on "The Jerry Springer Show" we have a particularly interesting episode! Brett is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend, Chris. So everyone, please put your hands together for Brett!

[The crowd whoops and hollers]

Jerry: Okay, now Brett you're here to talk about someone aren't you?

You: Yes.

Jerry: And what is this other person's name?

You: Megan.

[The crowd squeals with delight]

Jerry: Okay, okay, well Megan, is actually here tonight ...

[The crowd squeals]

Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Brett, because as it happens there is someone else here to see you! So let's bring out ... Caleb!

You: What the HELL!!!

[Out of nowhere you pull out a Dick. Caleb reaches for the couch. Out of the shadows Linda appears]

Linda: Wait everybody, wait!

Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First, tell us why you're here Caleb.

Caleb: Because I saw Brett and Linda making out at Adult World!

[The crowd goes absolutely insane]

Linda: That's a lie! I was home watching Big Brother!

Jerry: [raising his hands] Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here ... what exactly is the problem Caleb?

Caleb: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Chris who has recently become engaged to Linda.

[The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement]

Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Chris out here because Brett had something that they needed to tell them anyway about ... Megan that's right!

Chris: [enters onto stage and saunters over towards you] What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Megan! You know how I feel about Megan!

Linda: [screams] What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Megan!

Chris: Because I knew that I could never have Megan. But Brett promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!

Linda: What about respect for my feelings!

[Caleb walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Chris]

Caleb: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.

[Again the crowd squeals]

Linda: Oh my God! Are you sick!?

[Linda runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly]

Linda: Brett take me away from all of this!

You: You see? That's the thing ... I'm ... well, I'm married ...

[The crowd does its bit]

Linda: Married?

[You nod]

Linda: Who the hell are you married to? When ... when did this happen? I don't understand!

You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Megan.

Chris: [screaming] WHAT!!!

Jerry: [grinning widely, makes an enquiry] So ... did you have a nice wedding night?

Megan: [stepping back out onto center stage] Well we had sex 3 times if that's what you mean.

[The crowd squeals]

Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight ... Brett is married to Megan who Chris has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Chris has recently become engaged to Linda who was recently spotted kissing Brett in Adult World. Now on top of this, Caleb has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Chris.

Megan: That's right Jerry.

Jerry: [looking sternly into the camera] It's times like these that one has to wonder whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks - it's been great - but for now, take care of yourselves ... and each other.

[Cue cheesy background music and fade to black]

Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Hacker
post Jan 19 2005, 05:20 PM
Post #10


Mr Viper is not happy

***

Group: Banned
Posts: 949
Off Topic Posts: 1,335
Joined: 23-August 03
From: Queensland, Brisbane, Marsden
Member No.: 4,210



The Jerry Springer Show : Episode 627 : "Marriage Meltdown!"


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[The crowd starts chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"]

Jerry: Tonight on "The Jerry Springer Show" we have a particularly interesting episode! Caleb is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend, Travis. So everyone, please put your hands together for Caleb!

[The crowd whoops and hollers]

Jerry: Okay, now Caleb you're here to talk about someone aren't you?

You: Yes.

Jerry: And what is this other person's name?

You: Megan.

[The crowd squeals with delight]

Jerry: Okay, okay, well Megan, is actually here tonight ...

[The crowd squeals]

Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Caleb, because as it happens there is someone else here to see you! So let's bring out ... chris!

You: What the HELL!!!

[Out of nowhere you pull out a butter knife. chris reaches for the chair. Out of the shadows rachel appears]

rachel: Wait everybody, wait!

Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First, tell us why you're here chris.

chris: Because I saw Caleb and rachel making out at crazy clarks!

[The crowd goes absolutely insane]

rachel: That's a lie! I was home watching simpsons!

Jerry: [raising his hands] Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here ... what exactly is the problem chris?

chris: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Travis who has recently become engaged to rachel.

[The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement]

Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Travis out here because Caleb had something that they needed to tell them anyway about ... Megan that's right!

Travis: [enters onto stage and saunters over towards you] What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Megan! You know how I feel about Megan!

rachel: [screams] What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Megan!

Travis: Because I knew that I could never have Megan. But Caleb promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!

rachel: What about respect for my feelings!

[chris walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Travis]

chris: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.

[Again the crowd squeals]

rachel: Oh my God! Are you sick!?

[rachel runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly]

rachel: Caleb take me away from all of this!

You: You see? That's the thing ... I'm ... well, I'm married ...

[The crowd does its bit]

rachel: Married?


--------------------
QUOTE
Can i please have mine changed to MS 2JZ

Thanks :D

done - HOON
Isn't that too much engine for a girl?  :D 


oi no bullshit in this thread remember :P

Oh....I like spunk  :D 

oi stop spamming in my post :P

She's fiesty...*touches nipples*
QUOTE
I said to my ex once, spammity spam spam spam spam

and she said "seduce me now davey"
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
dryreacher
post Jan 19 2005, 05:20 PM
Post #11


Standard User

**

Group: Users
Posts: 163
Off Topic Posts: 1,045
Joined: 13-September 04
From: brissy
Member No.: 12,267



THIS IS AWESOME!!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[The crowd starts chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"]

Jerry: Tonight on "The Jerry Springer Show" we have a particularly interesting episode! el is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend, laura. So everyone, please put your hands together for el!

[The crowd whoops and hollers]

Jerry: Okay, now el you're here to talk about someone aren't you?

You: Yes.

Jerry: And what is this other person's name?

You: jonni.

[The crowd squeals with delight]

Jerry: Okay, okay, well jonni, is actually here tonight ...

[The crowd squeals]

Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you el, because as it happens there is someone else here to see you! So let's bring out ... moz!

You: What the HELL!!!

[Out of nowhere you pull out a razor. moz reaches for the rocking chair. Out of the shadows nik appears]

nik: Wait everybody, wait!

Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First, tell us why you're here moz.

moz: Because I saw el and nik making out at op shop!

[The crowd goes absolutely insane]

nik: That's a lie! I was home watching two guys and a girl!

Jerry: [raising his hands] Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here ... what exactly is the problem moz?

moz: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with laura who has recently become engaged to nik.

[The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement]

Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring laura out here because el had something that they needed to tell them anyway about ... jonni that's right!

laura: [enters onto stage and saunters over towards you] What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with jonni! You know how I feel about jonni!

nik: [screams] What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with jonni!

laura: Because I knew that I could never have jonni. But el promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!

nik: What about respect for my feelings!

[moz walks suddenly across the stage, embracing laura]

moz: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.

[Again the crowd squeals]

nik: Oh my God! Are you sick!?

[nik runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly]

nik: el take me away from all of this!

You: You see? That's the thing ... I'm ... well, I'm married ...

[The crowd does its bit]

nik: Married?

[You nod]

nik: Who the hell are you married to? When ... when did this happen? I don't understand!

You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to jonni.

laura: [screaming] WHAT!!!

Jerry: [grinning widely, makes an enquiry] So ... did you have a nice wedding night?

jonni: [stepping back out onto center stage] Well we had sex 32 times if that's what you mean.

[The crowd squeals]

Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight ... el is married to jonni who laura has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now laura has recently become engaged to nik who was recently spotted kissing el in op shop. Now on top of this, moz has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with laura.

jonni: That's right Jerry.

Jerry: [looking sternly into the camera] It's times like these that one has to wonder whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks - it's been great - but for now, take care of yourselves ... and each other.


--------------------
I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this, All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
its_called_insurance_john@hotmail.com

Numberplate 07UFF for sale PM for details

IPB Image
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Ralliart Lancer
post Jan 19 2005, 05:28 PM
Post #12


Ms. Palmer

****

Group: Members
Posts: 1,260
Off Topic Posts: 3,020
Joined: 8-July 03
From: Ipswich, Queensland, Australia
Member No.: 3,106



I made a Boostcruising jerry springer

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



The Jerry Springer Show : Episode 627 : "Marriage Meltdown!"


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[The crowd starts chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"]

Jerry: Tonight on "The Jerry Springer Show" we have a particularly interesting episode! *~Lancer Chicky*~ is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend, Speed Racer. So everyone, please put your hands together for *~Lancer Chicky*~!

[The crowd whoops and hollers]

Jerry: Okay, now *~Lancer Chicky*~ you're here to talk about someone aren't you?

You: Yes.

Jerry: And what is this other person's name?

You: Beannie.

[The crowd squeals with delight]

Jerry: Okay, okay, well Beannie, is actually here tonight ...

[The crowd squeals]

Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you *~Lancer Chicky*~, because as it happens there is someone else here to see you! So let's bring out ... csx Seth!

You: What the HELL!!!

[Out of nowhere you pull out a marchetti. csx Seth reaches for the Chair. Out of the shadows VS Style appears]

VS Style: Wait everybody, wait!

Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First, tell us why you're here csx Seth.

csx Seth: Because I saw *~Lancer Chicky*~ and VS Style making out at AutoBarn!

[The crowd goes absolutely insane]

VS Style: That's a lie! I was home watching Home and Away!

Jerry: [raising his hands] Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here ... what exactly is the problem csx Seth?

csx Seth: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Speed Racer who has recently become engaged to VS Style.

[The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement]

Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Speed Racer out here because *~Lancer Chicky*~ had something that they needed to tell them anyway about ... Beannie that's right!

Speed Racer: [enters onto stage and saunters over towards you] What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Beannie! You know how I feel about Beannie!

VS Style: [screams] What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Beannie!

Speed Racer: Because I knew that I could never have Beannie. But *~Lancer Chicky*~ promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!

VS Style: What about respect for my feelings!

[csx Seth walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Speed Racer]

csx Seth: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.

[Again the crowd squeals]

VS Style: Oh my God! Are you sick!?

[VS Style runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly]

VS Style: *~Lancer Chicky*~ take me away from all of this!

You: You see? That's the thing ... I'm ... well, I'm married ...

[The crowd does its bit]

VS Style: Married?

[You nod]

VS Style: Who the hell are you married to? When ... when did this happen? I don't understand!

You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Beannie.

Speed Racer: [screaming] WHAT!!!

Jerry: [grinning widely, makes an enquiry] So ... did you have a nice wedding night?

Beannie: [stepping back out onto center stage] Well we had sex 25 times if that's what you mean.

[The crowd squeals]

Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight ... *~Lancer Chicky*~ is married to Beannie who Speed Racer has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Speed Racer has recently become engaged to VS Style who was recently spotted kissing *~Lancer Chicky*~ in AutoBarn. Now on top of this, csx Seth has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Speed Racer.

Beannie: That's right Jerry.

Jerry: [looking sternly into the camera] It's times like these that one has to wonder whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks - it's been great - but for now, take care of yourselves ... and each other.

[Cue cheesy background music and fade to black]



--------------------
I have the boobies so I make the rules !
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
BozzA
post Jan 19 2005, 05:48 PM
Post #13


Words under my avatar!!

*****

Group: Users
Posts: 2,510
Off Topic Posts: 11,801
Joined: 8-August 03
Member No.: 3,868



That story never gets old, no matter how many times you swap the names around! Everyone keep posting them.

...
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
csx_seth
post Jan 19 2005, 09:23 PM
Post #14


Standard User

**

Group: Users
Posts: 310
Off Topic Posts: 7
Joined: 13-October 03
From: Brisbane
Member No.: 5,403



OMG thats kool, i like it
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
Sir Holden
post Jan 19 2005, 09:31 PM
Post #15


Banned.
Contributing Member!

*****

Group: Senior Members
Posts: 3,186
Off Topic Posts: 3,394
Joined: 17-December 03
From: Petrie, Brisbane
Member No.: 6,733



QUOTE (BozzA @ Jan 19 2005, 05:48 PM)
That story never gets old, no matter how many times you swap the names around! Everyone keep posting them.

...

LMAO, that is just tops laugh.gif !

What makes it worse is we don't know half the people in the story.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
speed racer
post Jan 20 2005, 03:28 AM
Post #16


Senior User

*****

Group: Moderators
Posts: 5,320
Off Topic Posts: 6,346
Joined: 13-April 03
From: Brisbane
Member No.: 2,238



QUOTE (*~Lancer Chicky~* @ Jan 19 2005, 05:28 PM)
I made a Boostcruising jerry springer











w00t im famous laugh.gif

but i'm married to Grant YUK YUK YUK ohmy.gif
ROFL jokes Grant laugh.gif


--------------------
WINDOW TINTING FOR CAR, HOME OR OFFICE. PM FOR A QUOTE.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
speed racer
post Jan 20 2005, 03:29 AM
Post #17


Senior User

*****

Group: Moderators
Posts: 5,320
Off Topic Posts: 6,346
Joined: 13-April 03
From: Brisbane
Member No.: 2,238



this is gold, are there any more versions?



--------------------
WINDOW TINTING FOR CAR, HOME OR OFFICE. PM FOR A QUOTE.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
vlgirl05
post Jan 21 2005, 03:40 PM
Post #18


Standard User

**

Group: Users
Posts: 280
Off Topic Posts: 56
Joined: 25-October 04
From: everywhere
Member No.: 14,318



thats hilarious bowrofl.gif


--------------------
purekaos
BUILT 4 CRUIZIN NOT ABUSING
member of purekaos
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post
kells
post Jan 21 2005, 08:39 PM
Post #19


"Cookie" / Kellie
Contributing Member!

***

Group: Senior Members
Posts: 1,189
Off Topic Posts: 2,002
Joined: 8-December 02
From: Northern Gold Coast
Member No.: 964



hehehe these are always funny, and usually keep me laughing for a while but theirs no point in posting it unless everyone knows the people youre talking about tongue.gif


--------------------
http://www.bestfriendsrescue.com/
Best Friends Refuge Rescue and is a non-profit registered charity that saves and rehomes abandoned and unwanted dogs and cats in Brisbane on the Gold Coast and surrounding areas in Queensland. Most of our animals are saved from death row in Council Pounds while others have been surrendered to us. We are 100% No-Kill.
Go to the top of the page
 
+Quote Post

 
Reply to this topic Start new topic
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members: